Opinionated

For quite some time now I have kept quiet. I never want to disturb or rock the boat or pull a rug under anyones feet. I hope this post makes sense to me let alone someone else. I want to help. I want to make a difference in this world we walk upon. I know the little things count.. donations of 5 dollars a month or sponsoring a child and posting their picture to your fridge.. to me it's not enough. I am extremely attracted to the thought of dedicating my life to helping. When I mean dedicating I mean dropping everything I was given. Maybe even my name. I could go nameless. Someone who was allowed to have such opinionated thoughts on movies nowadays and such. I always think to myself, how can people pour there money into a movie, purchasing props and finding a new way for people to enjoy it, such as the comfort of there seats or the freaking lighting for ***'s sake. Well it is an art and I respect and agree with that. Their is an epidemic going on in this world and I am addicted. But I feel as though I cannot and do not have the right to speak my mind unless I have lived it and have dedicated my life to it. I want to build homes for people that don't have homes. I want to make people smile and I want them to make me smile. I feel as though I have been side swiped by a life full of what the fake luxury is... mine being addiction to money. Cars, clothes, sex, drugs. Life has me caught in a whirlwind and I want to get out. I want to be set free and be able to finally enjoy a moment I am living. I don't want to live for all this fake shit I want to live for what is real for what is true and believable. The travel bug has stung me and not for my self indulgence of going and seeing the beautiful world god has created, but it has stung me to meet new people. To know new smiles and benefit from others teaching me things about life. I can't take it anymore to keep taking this life I live for granted. It makes me sick. I am opinionated.